it's Nita.

Motivation to persist in a particular direction is not always cut and dry. In fact, your life goals are constantly in formation and they will likely change at various stages.

Giving yourself time and space to reflect on your life’s journey is critical to your well-being. Remember you are a whole person, each part of your life effects the other!

If you are struggling to make a decision on staying or going related to something or someone in your life, consider these aspects of motivation.

• Attainment value – desire to be something (or be with someone) because you identify with it (or them)

• Utility value – usefulness of that something (or someone) to your future goals

• Intrinsic value – interest & enjoyment in that something (or someone)

• Effort cost – perception of effort required to achieve that something (or maintain that relationship with someone)

• Opportunity cost – gain or loss of picking your something over another something (or someone over someone else)

• Psychological/emotional cost – suffering and discomfort to be endured in course of achieving that something (or maintaining that relationship with someone)

Here’s the exercise!

1. Write it out (what are your somethings or who are your someones). Be as detailed as possible in defining that something or someone. Then answer the points above about your values and cost. See two examples below answered in short sentences.

Marriage

• Attainment value – I really want to be married because I feel called to a marriage relationship.

• Utility value – I think being married is an emotionally healthy thing to do. Marriage has financial, social and spiritual benefits. I want to start a family as a married person.

• Intrinsic value – I would enjoy being married and developing a committed relationship with another person.

• Effort cost – I know marriage isn’t easy. I will have to put in work to become a better person for my future spouse. When I get married, the work continues. I will have to learn to be a better communicator. I will have to sacrifice and compromise in healthy ways. I will have to include other people in my plans.

• Opportunity cost – When I am married, I am saying no to other romantic partnerships. When I marry I am marrying for a lifetime commitment.

• Psychological/emotional cost – I recognize that marriage is not all smooth sailing. I want to be married and I intend to work through hardships in a healthy manner with my future spouse. I want to commit to being a supportive partner in a godly marriage.

Career

• Attainment value – I really want to be a teacher and mentor students. I feel being a teacher is my calling!

• Utility value – Being a teacher is a means to earn money to support myself. It would also being in alignment with my career goals.

• Intrinsic value – I am interested in teaching because I enjoy learning and disseminating knowledge.

• Effort cost – Being a teacher in some instances requires formal certifications or credentials. I may have to go back to school to get a certification or degree. This process would take time and effort.

• Opportunity cost – Deciding and committing to pursue the path of a teacher, I would be saying no to other career opportunities.

• Psychological/emotional cost – Being in education can be difficult. I know it is not the most lucrative career. Also, there may be discomfort in the work it takes to earn my credential. Working with students, parents, co-workers, administrators will likely be challenging.

2. Pray through it and get clear on what (or even who) you need to continue to be involved with. Always get clear on God’s purpose and plan for your life. You may find that the something (or someone) you are trying to hold on to is not God’s plan for you. Conversely, God could be calling you into a season of trying or doing something new! Get God’s peace and direction on your situation. Remember when you pray, always wait and listen for God’s answer.

Prayer for Marriage. God I thank you that you are preparing me for marriage. Lord thank you for preparing me mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially to be a wife of godly character. Lord thank you for preparing my husband to be a godly husband. God I pray in the season of waiting the neither I nor my future husband get ahead of the plans your have for our life. Lord help us to follow you in loving obedience. Your Word says you make all things beautiful in your time. God as you have placed the desire for marriage in my heart, I know you will fulfill your promises. God give me the endurance to not compromise or settle. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Prayer for Career. God thank you for leading me and guiding me in the direction of my career calling. Lord I do not just want a job or a means to earn money just for the sake of earning money. Lord give me the courage to explore and dream with you. God where I have placed limits on my future, please forgive me. You are the God of the impossible. You are the God of more than enough and all provision. God forgive me for worrying about how I am going to make everything work out in my career. Thank you Lord for leading and guiding me in the way that I should go. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

3. Talk it out (surround yourself with godly wisdom and counsel). God is not the author of confusion. When you take the steps to pursue his best answer for your something (or someone) God will confirm himself through his Word and the people in your life.

❤️

I hope this exercise is useful to you!

His Best Always,

Nita.

Reference: The dimensions of subjective task values (Eccles Expectancy Value Theory)