it's Nita.

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    • Let Go and Don’t Look Back

      Here are some points and scripture to ponder. You can do this!

      1. God is not the author of confusion but of peace. God always leads you in making decisions that are consistent with His word, nature, and character. If the decision you are weighing does not align with the Word of God, it is not from God. Study and receive the truth God desires to reveal to you in your situation (Proverbs 25:2).
      2. If you are struggling to get clear answers, consider areas in your life where you may have hardened your heart and need to repent. Open yourself to receive from the blessing of the Lord (Matthew 3:8).
      3. Feelings can be deceptive (Jeremiah 17:9). Up one moment and down the next, feelings can be the storm that overturns your boat! Keep your eyes fixed on Jesus. The Lord is your True and solid foundation (Psalm 62:2).
      4. Seek godly counsel and not what your “tickling ears” want to hear. Fools perish in their own wisdom (Proverbs 4:6-7; Proverbs 1:7; 2 Timothy 4:3).
      5. Look for the “breadcrumbs” of his leading. He gives us directives and he still speaks today! (Psalm 119:105; Psalm 37:23-24; Isaiah 48:17).
      6. Keep your mind on the things above and not the things beneath. Your circumstance is temporal but God is eternal (Colossians 3:2). This too shall pass (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).
      7. He knows the plans he has for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans for hope and your future (Jeremiah 29:11). This does not mean God won’t use hardship and challenge to grow your faith. However, you must distinguish God-sent challenges and challenges of your own making (James 1:5; Proverbs 3:5-6).
      8. Hold fast and watch what the Lord will do as you obey and follow through with his directives (Hebrews 10:23; Deuteronomy 28:1-2).

      When God says go, it’s for your good. ❤️

      His Best, always.

      Nita

    • Spoken Word (Everything, Right?)

      Audio only.

      I tossed around giving this a written introduction but instead I put it all on audio. When you start the audio, there will be a short introduction to how I got to this particular spoken word piece. From there I go on to speak the spoken word and then finish with a brief outro.

      I hope you find Everything.

      Love always,

      Nita!

    • Staying or Leaving: A quick exercise on motivation

      Motivation to persist in a particular direction is not always cut and dry. In fact, your life goals are constantly in formation and they will likely change at various stages.

      Giving yourself time and space to reflect on your life’s journey is critical to your well-being. Remember you are a whole person, each part of your life effects the other!

      If you are struggling to make a decision on staying or going related to something or someone in your life, consider these aspects of motivation.

      • Attainment value – desire to be something (or be with someone) because you identify with it (or them)
      • Utility value – usefulness of that something (or someone) to your future goals
      • Intrinsic value – interest & enjoyment in that something (or someone)
      • Effort cost – perception of effort required to achieve that something (or maintain that relationship with someone)
      • Opportunity cost – gain or loss of picking your something over another something (or someone over someone else)
      • Psychological/emotional cost – suffering and discomfort to be endured in course of achieving that something (or maintaining that relationship with someone)

      Here’s the exercise!

      1. Write it out (what are your somethings or who are your someones). Be as detailed as possible in defining that something or someone. Then answer the points above about your values and cost. See two examples below answered in short sentences.

      Marriage

      • Attainment value – I really want to be married because I feel called to a marriage relationship.
      • Utility value – I think being married is an emotionally healthy thing to do. Marriage has financial, social and spiritual benefits. I want to start a family as a married person.
      • Intrinsic value – I would enjoy being married and developing a committed relationship with another person.
      • Effort cost – I know marriage isn’t easy. I will have to put in work to become a better person for my future spouse. When I get married, the work continues. I will have to learn to be a better communicator. I will have to sacrifice and compromise in healthy ways. I will have to include other people in my plans.
      • Opportunity cost – When I am married, I am saying no to other romantic partnerships. When I marry I am marrying for a lifetime commitment.
      • Psychological/emotional cost – I recognize that marriage is not all smooth sailing. I want to be married and I intend to work through hardships in a healthy manner with my future spouse. I want to commit to being a supportive partner in a godly marriage.

      Career

      • Attainment value – I really want to be a teacher and mentor students. I feel being a teacher is my calling!
      • Utility value – Being a teacher is a means to earn money to support myself. It would also being in alignment with my career goals.
      • Intrinsic value – I am interested in teaching because I enjoy learning and disseminating knowledge.
      • Effort cost – Being a teacher in some instances requires formal certifications or credentials. I may have to go back to school to get a certification or degree. This process would take time and effort.
      • Opportunity cost – Deciding and committing to pursue the path of a teacher, I would be saying no to other career opportunities.
      • Psychological/emotional cost – Being in education can be difficult. I know it is not the most lucrative career. Also, there may be discomfort in the work it takes to earn my credential. Working with students, parents, co-workers, administrators will likely be challenging.

      2. Pray through it and get clear on what (or even who) you need to continue to be involved with. Always get clear on God’s purpose and plan for your life. You may find that the something (or someone) you are trying to hold on to is not God’s plan for you. Conversely, God could be calling you into a season of trying or doing something new! Get God’s peace and direction on your situation. Remember when you pray, always wait and listen for God’s answer.

      Prayer for Marriage. God I thank you that you are preparing me for marriage. Lord thank you for preparing me mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially to be a wife of godly character. Lord thank you for preparing my husband to be a godly husband. God I pray in the season of waiting the neither I nor my future husband get ahead of the plans your have for our life. Lord help us to follow you in loving obedience. Your Word says you make all things beautiful in your time. God as you have placed the desire for marriage in my heart, I know you will fulfill your promises. God give me the endurance to not compromise or settle. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

      Prayer for Career. God thank you for leading me and guiding me in the direction of my career calling. Lord I do not just want a job or a means to earn money just for the sake of earning money. Lord give me the courage to explore and dream with you. God where I have placed limits on my future, please forgive me. You are the God of the impossible. You are the God of more than enough and all provision. God forgive me for worrying about how I am going to make everything work out in my career. Thank you Lord for leading and guiding me in the way that I should go. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

      3. Talk it out (surround yourself with godly wisdom and counsel). God is not the author of confusion. When you take the steps to pursue his best answer for your something (or someone) God will confirm himself through his Word and the people in your life.

      ❤️

      I hope this exercise is useful to you!

      His Best Always,

      Nita.

      Reference: The dimensions of subjective task values (Eccles Expectancy Value Theory)

    • Happy Birthday Psalm

      My God, you are my God. You are the one in whom I trust and the forever love of my life.

      You are my soul’s redeemer. I couldn’t praise you enough if I had ten thousand tongues.

      Legions upon legions of angels sing a chorus of praises unto Lord. You are worthy. There is no one that compares to you.

      In the depth of my despair, you are there. In my weakness, you’ve made me strong. When I fear, your Holy Spirit is my comfort.

      Your steadfast love and loving kindness are real. You are not far away or untouchable. No. Lord you are near. Right here in the midst of my life.

      Thank you Father for loving me through your people. For setting me in family. God you’ve surrounded my loneliness with your generous goodness.

      You are merciful Lord. Your strong arm has saved me from the pit of despair. When I thought the darkness would overtake me, Lord your rod and your staff they comforted me.

      I surrender to your extravagant love. Oh Lord, how great is your love towards me. My God, you are my God.

      You molded me and shaped me in my mother’s womb. All my days were written before there was even one. I praise you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Marvelous are your works and I know them full well. By your grace, I’ve lived to see another year. I AM SO VERY LOVED. Happy Birthday to me!

      🥰

    • Walk this Way

      Audio

      Change is afoot. I have been feeling unsure and uneasy with what lays ahead of me. Yesterday, I was mentioning this to a friend and she began to encourage me. As she was speaking, the Lord spoke this to my spirit and said:

      “Look for the Lord’s ways and walk in it.”

      I knew this was some remnant of scripture. And so I Googled and found Jeremiah 6:16.

      Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.

      I pondered this through the night and went to sleep with a determination to gain further understanding.

      In my devotional time this morning, I returned to this scripture and noticed something. It is full of action. I bolded the words that stood out to me for emphasis.

      1. Stand – be positioned at a particular place
      2. Look – attentive to see, to search
      3. Ask – make a request
      4. Walk – movement in a particular direction
      5. Find – acquire that which you are searching for

      This is what I must do. This is what we must do.

      The ways of the Lord are laid out before us. We seek the Lord through fellowship with the Lord. We fellowship with the Lord through prayer, reading His Word and gathering with other believers. We find the way we should go by putting the Word into practice in our lives.

      If we position ourselves to search for the Lord and ask Him to lead us and guide in the way we should go, He will do it. If we trust Him to guide us (it’s a faith walk. For we walk by faith and not by sight) we will find that place of rest and sufficiency to live our lives.

      There is no toil in the Lord. We are empowered to walk in His ways through the gift of the Holy Spirit that lives within us.

      Take His yoke (His ways) upon you and learn for Him. For His yoke is easy and his burden is light. There you will find rest for your souls. (Matthew 11:29)

      His Best. Always!

      Nita.

    • Simple Prayers

      This phrase came up in my Facebook memories today. I remember receiving this remarkable revelation from God about appetite and diet as I was pondering food.

      Appetite is ‘desire for something’ and diet is ‘a way of life’.

      I very well know the meaning of these words. After all, as a human, I hunger and I thirst for food and water. But God challenged me to think about my hunger and thirst for Him, for holiness, for The Word of God and fellowship in The Body of Believers.

      I wondered. Was I desiring these things? Did I seek to fill myself with the things and ways of God on a daily basis?

      Honestly, I can say sometimes but not always.

      That is when the simple prayer arose.

      Lord create in me a consistent desire for a way of life that is pleasing to you.

      I have been working to shift my appetite and diet, my life to be pleasing to the Lord, in ALL areas of my life. I crave the consistency and oneness of mind.

      The process is underway! And I have been kind to myself (yet accountable) to the choices and the changes that are happening in my life. I can’t expect to be perfectly pleasing all the time or all at once, but I do know that praying this simple prayer that God hears my heart.

      Be encouraged dear friends! The simplest prayers can make all the difference. Talk earnestly to the Lord. Tell him what’s on your heart.

      His Best. Always,

      Nita.

    • Your Mind is for You

      Did you know you can actually rewire your brain?

      Yep! You can change your thoughts, behaviors and default reactions by renewing your mind.

      In science, this is called neuroplasticity. Neuro meaning brain and plasticity meaning the ability to be easily shaped or molded.

      Yep! Your brain was made to reshape and remold itself.

      So be encouraged! You are not stuck in your current thoughts and behaviors. Your brain is for you not against you! You can change how your brain is wired by intentionally pursuing growth to reorder and reorganize your thoughts.

      How do you do this? Here’s a few ways:

      • Learn a new ability or skill (this pushes you beyond your default neural networks (ways of thinking) to establish new connections and patterns in your mind)
      • Be mindful and intentional about your environment (shift into places that require you to think and respond in a new way. Choose places, spaces and people that are life-giving and edifying to your goals)
      • Practice, Practice, Practice (and don’t just go through the motions. Endeavor to practice well and establish good, healthy habits)
      • Reduce psychological stress (your body is hard wired for survival. Stress triggers a fight, flight or freeze response. Chronic stress weakens brain development and the ability to make neurological changes)
      • Meditate (as a person thinks so are they! What you put into your mind will manifest in your behaviors)

      You can be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Start today! Little by little, a little becomes a lot!

      Love always,

      it’s Nita.

    • Love Letter from Abba

      Audio

      Diamond in the Rough (a hope)

      Your journey hasn’t been easy but just remember

      Like the flame of a fire, change starts with an ember

      You’re not who you used to be–the old you left behind

      God is remaking you deep down inside

      …

      You were made tough, and built to last

      You are not hindered by the sins of your past

      You give Him your heart and you receive true freedom

      You are a coheir, a queen in His kingdom

      …

      Imagine yourself as a diamond in the rough

      Pressured and polished by His tender touch

      When the work is finished, you will shine

      Like the phoenix from the ashes, you will rise

      …

      And for this very reason

      God is faithful to bring His work to completion

      This is a reminder, a gentle nudge

      You were (fearfully and wonderfully) made with (everlasting) love!

    • Friends vs. Intimates

      This was a Facebook post a few years ago and I thought I’d bring it over to this platform because whew! This absolutely still rings true. I’m so thankful God kept working with me until I got this revelation. I hope it helps you too.

      Friends vs. Intimates :: Lord! I was thinking about why I don’t have any guy friends and feeling kind of annoyed again but then God spoke to me “you do”. And I thought “how? We aren’t as close as my girl friends?”

      Well that’s how it’s supposed to be! I looked up the definition of friendly and it means ‘to be kind or pleasant’. The word friend means ‘to love’. That’s scriptural. As Christians we are called to love everyone. Then I looked up intimate. A synonym for intimate is friend but intimate means something more. Something deeper. The root of intimate is innermost…

      So while I have been all up in arms about not having guy friends. God just cleared it up for me with this, “All can be friends but not all can or will be intimates.” (You can be friendly with the opposite sex without being sexual or unhealthy attached but you must guard your heart and set your boundaries. Actually the same goes for the same sex. Soul ties are real y’all).

      That being said, the man that will truly be an intimate in my life is my future husband. Even now my most intimate relationship is with God. God is my covering and will remain so after I get married. This was totally a duh moment for me because the intimacy I craved from relationship with people has to come from God. 🥰

      God fulfills that longing for connection. And has placed amazing friends in my life as support, wisdom, counsel and confidants.

      Yet still, the joy in my future marriage will be so much sweeter because now I understand the difference between being friendly or having friends and being intimate. Note: Of course, I will be friends with my future husband, but we will also have an intimacy that no other physical man will have with me because God joined us together. Our life and purpose will be one.

      For this very reason I won’t settle for less. The wait is worth it. 💕

      Work the wait.

      Love always,

      Nita.

    • Mind Your Mind

      Do you ever feel like your thoughts are getting the best of you? You know those invasive and unwanted thoughts of failure or criticism or fear or anxiety, even anger or injustice that make you want to boil over! Or perhaps the opposite… overwhelming sadness, grief or depression.

      Yeah, I have a feeling we’ve all been there at some point. And the thing is we are wired for emotion. Emotional responses give us a clue to how to respond to what is happening in the moment.

      BUT sometimes our thoughts and feelings consume us in an unhealthy way. In the mental health field they call this rumination. Rumination is the process of continuously thinking about something (typically a sad or dark event) over and over again. This has negative health outcomes as it can lead to intensified depression, anxiety and withdrawal.

      With all going on in the world personally and globally, there is more than enough bad news and drama to take anyone to the edge of reason. BUT there’s hope. ❤️

      Three verses in particular (among developing other health habits) have been transformative in my mental health journey.

      Proverbs 23:7a “For as a he thinks in his heart so is he.”

      This is a truth we must set our hearts and minds on beloved. Our thoughts (what enters and is entertained in our mind, old memories, etc.) without a doubt impact our mood and behavior. It’s a simple truth that we’ve probably heard several times before but always worth revisiting. How’s your thought life?

      2 Corinthians 10:5 “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”

      This scripture reminds me of my power to overcome! Yeah, my thoughts aren’t always in order with the actions and behaviors I want my life to exhibit. BUT I have the authority in Christ to make them so. Exercise your authority friends!

      Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

      My encouragement to you… Keep fighting the good fight of faith! Keep your thoughts on things above and not beneath (Colossians 3:2) and you WILL see the transformation of your minds and lives.

      For more about rumination and mental health tips read here.

      Love always,

      Nita.

      P.S. Be sober-minded and vigilant (1 Peter 5:8) but also practice peace of mind. Both are key! I know when I was trying to think correctly I became exhausted with the effort and anxiety of trying to get it right all the time. Let’s face it. We aren’t prefect and we won’t get it right all the time. I repeat, we aren’t perfect and we won’t get it right all the time. Therefore be mindful not to fall into the trap of perfectionism. ❤️