I’d like to think I am a pretty chipper person (and surely I’ve gotten more joyful through the years) but it wasn’t always so.
I hope you receive some encouragement from this picture/word journey. I set out to do something typical and just write this week, but God birthed something new and I am grateful. It allowed me to go down memory lane but most of all it reminded me that even in my darkest places, His love still shined. I pray you too will sense his presence not just today but all your days (Psalm 23:6).
16 (2006)
This is a language arts assignment from 10th grade. We were charged with picking words from a poem and making our own work from it. One of my favorite poets at 16 was Emily Dickinson, I picked “I felt a funeral in my brain”.
17 (2007)
I am no stranger to strong emotion. As I thought of what imagery to include in the post I was reminded of a drawing I did at 17 “Live Your Dreams.” There was clearly some growth as 10 years later I made the comment “you’ve been revived.” 😌 Tears, while painful, weren’t wasted.
One of my favorite artists as a teen was Ani DiFranco, her music expressed much of my emotions in words I could not yet express. At 17, I thought I knew God and perhaps in a teenage way I did. However, 10 years more of living has a way of weighing you down. Again I made an edit to a previous entry with “a broken and contrite heart God will not despise” (Psalm 51:17). I know that God isn’t with me just for my good days, even my heaviness he can hold.
18 – 22 (2008 – 2012)
I dove head first into the “authentic college experience” and forsook much of what helped me cope in my younger years–God included. I didn’t write or draw much during this time. On occasion when I slowed down enough to take stock of my life, I often found myself drawn to instrumental music and rumination. I let the strings and the piano cry out for me. 🧐 Matter fact I didn’t write anything from a place of positive emotion until late 22 and even then I mostly drew from negative emotions.
23 (2013)
I was in the midst of a particularly tough season nearly a year after undergrad. Like I did in my teens, I went back to my feelings in words. Not wanting to look back I recognized the fruit of my labors were the wages of sin. My spirit longed to be alive again.
24 (2014)
The light of redemption and moving into a new season! This was a make and break year. Yes, both.
25 (2015)
When the days get long and my soul gets weary. Lord I lay my requests before you, I know you hear me.
When the road is rough and the path is crooked. Lord I give you control, I know you can do it.
When the doubts creep in and my confidence fades. Lord I lean on you, I know you are the author and finisher of my faith.
When there is no one else and I’m all alone. Lord you comfort me, I know you are my home.
I can trust in you like no other. You’re a friend that sticks closer than a brother.
❤️ Jesus, I choose you.
26 (2016)
Learning to love and be loved in return.
My love is like the sea
Running deep and without measure
Let my living water rush in and fill those dead places
Don’t fight the flood, the wave of my love
I promise daughter you won’t drown.
“Your love so deep is washing over me
Your face is all I seek, you are my everything
Jesus Christ, You are my one desire
Lord, hear my only cry, to know you all my life.” (Sinking Deep x Hillsong Young and Free)
27 (2017)
I was a seed When you trampled me, you pushed me deep.
The ground engulfed me, but the rains gave me life.
I budded, broke the surface, and stretched to the sky.
You looked to the spot and couldn’t believe your eyes.
What you meant for evil, He turned it around for my good.
That trampled seed grew into a mighty redwood.
This was a hell of a year! But as you saw from some of my posts above. There was definitely breakthrough as I confronted my past.
28 (2018)
Winter 2018. I had questions for my future and this was the best way I could articulate it to God. Big, bold and a little disorderly. My prayer was written with desparate strokes of a black marker. The answer made itself clear. “I am the Shepherd.” I lightened up the right side of my drawing with a flicker of yellow dots and remembered I am His sheep. I will never want (Psalm 23).
29 (2019)
My sentiments from 29. Reflection, Faith and Perseverance.
30 (2020) A few days ago
From the valley I heard God say “Cry out, don’t complain” and so I searched for the meaning of crying out. It is more than mere complaining. It is taking my petition to God. I found these images and scriptures particularly engaging.
In conclusion, a few words from His heart to ours
Be not dismayed my daughters, Be not dismayed my sons. When I sent my son for you, I pronounced it finished and done.
Cry out by faith, beloved. Cry out with hope, dear ones. Don’t withhold your burdens, don’t withhold your hurts.
Cry out to me, my child; my ear is open to your plea. Keeping on seeking the answer to your soul’s need.
Like the calm in the midst of the storm, my presence will banish darkness with the glory of my light–be not troubled, only look up. For my grace is sufficient, it’s more than enough.
Love you,
it’s Nita.
it's Nita. 
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