it's Nita.

(Audio and Text)

I can’t speak for the experiences of all persons of color, but I can speak for myself. I did not grow up with a strong Black identity. Among my many social identities, my Blackness simply was not the center on which I viewed myself. In psychology, social identities (defined as a person’s sense of who they are based on their group membership(s) (Tajfel, 1979) ) give individuals a sense of belonging in our world. I am sharing this piece of information about myself to give you some insight in regard to “us” versus “them” as theorized by Social Identity Theory.

“Us” versus “Them” is the making of outsiders. One aspect of this theory, in relation to how people engage with one another, is the tendency to exaggerate differences between groups and at the same time exaggerate similarities within groups. This is how the “us” versus “them” dichotomy arises. For example, let’s say you belong to Group A and someone else belongs to Group B. Social Identity Theory states that as a member of Group A you will tend to seek out negative or opposing aspects of group B so you as a Group A member you can boost your self-esteem and feel positive emotions for your social group. The same process happens in Group B. Thus, arises the line in the sand. You’re making yourself an insider and the other person an outsider.

This is a simple example, but in reality you have many social identities: political, religious, gender, social class, sports, clubs, hobbies, nationality, language, job title, the list goes on and on. As people, we are constantly grouping and categorizing ourselves to make sense of our world. The extent to which you make outsiders and enemies of people who are different from “us” is the extent to which you will live in discord and segregation. In the area of sports, this can be all fun and games (assuming you just see it just as a game 🤪) but elsewhere this “us” versus “them” mentality can have terrible consequences. It can lead to prejudice, discrimination, racism and violence against others. Moreover, this “othering” behavior can grow into stubborn ideologies that are passed down from generation to generation. It endless; there’s no rest.

But there’s hope! There is a way to make peace with yourself and others. Let’s go back to my personal example. I started the beginning of this blog stating my Blackness was not the center of my self-image. As one of my many social identities…that is ok. My Black is my Black. Plain and simple. I am part of a diverse community of other Black people with various interests. Some of those interests overlap with other racial groups.

If I get stuck in the cycle of trying to be a fictionalized version of myself based on what society says or if I am constantly comparing myself to others, I will undoubtedly struggle. As much as we as people would like to draw the line in the sand and make nice neat group of ourselves, it is simply impossible. Social groupings are always subject to change. What is in and out of our group today can change tomorrow. Moreover, we change as we grow as individuals. We pick up and put down many labels over our lifetimes. So what is to be made of all this? How can you live at peace with yourself and others? Answer: Think Kingdom.

The identity that I am most concerned about, the identity from which I live and move and have my being originates from Christ Jesus. That is the center on which my life turns. I have tried many labels and put myself into many boxes and joined many groups trying to belong. However, nothing has compared to the joy and freedom I have found as I explore who I am in Christ. And before you think I just threw my Blackness out the window. No, I didn’t. Part of growing in Christ is getting to know myself as a complete person. Among the many areas of growth, I have to come to love and embrace exploring my Blackness not as the culture dictates but as God declares over my life. 🙌🏾

I am Anita Deanna Patrick. The Lord knit me together in my mother’s womb. All the days of my life were numbered before there was even one. I have been handcrafted with a purpose. My Blackness expresses a piece of the glory of God in its full beauty. I am a human. I am part of the magnificent color spectrum that is the human race. I am God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared for me to do in advance. I rejoice because I am fearfully and wonderfully made as a Black woman. Marvelous is the Lord’s work and I know that full well.

🥰

In close, I want to share a poem. Some of you may have read this before and for others it will be entirely new. Here is my ode to blackness.

An Ode to Blackness

My black is accentuated by the crinkle of my curls 
My black is beautiful, a brilliant brown pearl 
My black is cultivated over generations of genocide; my black is this truth, I shall not hide
My black is dynamic, daring and free
My black is emboldened by those that came before me
My black is forever stamped in the soil of this land; my black is craved in cracks of the palm of my hand
My black is giving room for growth and being patient 
My black is healing, it brings restoration 
My black is ingested by your senses as soon as we meet 
My black is joy overflowing, replete 
My black is knowing I was kneaded with knowledge and made to be kept
My black is leaning on Love, I’m far from perfect
My black is married to elegance and grace; my black is the legacy I leave in this place 
My black is nothing short of amazing
My black is orated in this phrasing 
My black is peculiar, not subject to man’s acceptance 
My black is quickened by the unction of His presence 
My black is raw and real; My black is tough as nails and stronger than steel 
My black is set on one direction by His compass
My black is taking down strongholds and conquering darkness 
My black is unlike anything this world has ever seen 
My black is valuable more precious than rubies 
My black is welded in, yoked in, soaked in excellence 
My black is exceptional; It echoes from the north, south, east, west 
My black is years in the making; My black is building up as I’m constantly breaking
My black is zealous; my black is zest 

My black is more than just melanin; it’s all of this.

Embrace your lovely child of God. ❤️

Love always,

it’s Nita.

References

Tajfel, H., Turner, J. C., Austin, W. G., & Worchel, S. (1979). An integrative theory of intergroup conflict. Organizational identity: A reader, 56-65.